Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Randomize
