Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
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My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
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