have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
