Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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