There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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