I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
