I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
