According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
ok first of all what the fuck
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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