Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
