Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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