I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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