Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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