oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Panties = found
Randomize
