Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
