he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
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