He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
There are leaves in my underwear?
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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