So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
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Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
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I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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