I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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