she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
