Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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