he puts the penis in happiness.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
