walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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