Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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