Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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