Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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