We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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