The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I have tasted many bathrooms
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
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