she was so not down for the gang bang
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Floor bacon is actually really good
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