No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I will be naked everywhere
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
