Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
