Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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