Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
