I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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