is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
