no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
