Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
just come out here and I will go home with you...
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
