She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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