I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
