That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
where are you?
Hypothermia
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
