I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
