I cut my penus on the lid.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
i've created a new STD.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
