one two three fourrrrnication!
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize