Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
