We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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