I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
