haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
