Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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