I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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