So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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