Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
did you just send me my own nude
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
