i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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