quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
