in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
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