from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Randomize
