so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
