I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
