so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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