I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
