C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Randomize
