Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
