I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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