Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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