Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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