Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
