if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
